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I rushed to the school with a dry pair of pants and underwear. Weren't her closest friends boys? Over and over again, I fielded the same question. If she's transgender, I need to know for sure. One day, at a public pool, with no one around who knew us, I agreed to call him Shane.

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Twenty minutes later, we settled down on the same couch, my husband on one side of Isabel, me on the other.

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My Child Is Transgender: This Is How I Know

Call me a radical, but what does it matter where your profound sense of self comes from? I knew I wouldn't win this war without tears, screams, and stares from strangers. Years ago, when the doctor exclaimed "she's a girl," I'd been thrilled in a way that I didn't completely understand. Before our rear ends had even warmed the couch, I blurted, "I need to know if this is just a phase. If I had blue cotton pants, believe me, you'd be wearing them. My incredibly smart, funny, quirky, kind, just-plain-awesome boy.

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The signs were in the loud burps he emitted at will, and the farting sounds he and his friends launched from their armpits. There was no single answer because there was no initial "when" of knowing. How does reincarnation work? The ulterior motive of much of this commentary seems to be a refusal of basic acceptance of trans people, let alone material and political support. Quaid will play Don Quinn, a strong-willed patriarch who must balance the demands of his complicated family with the stress of the Christmas season when his youngest daughter comes home for the holidays with a new boyfriend. If I had blue cotton pants, believe me, you'd be wearing them.

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